Gotta start somewhere...

I think it's pretty rad to kick off this new outlet of attempted wit and observation by painting a wee picture of press freedom in this fair Gulf state. It's not that censorship is at play here... just more of a fear of chopping off the hand that feeds us newspaper employees, and in turn, well-paid minions of the Sheikh, President of the UAE and Ruler of Abu Dhabi.

Everyone's heard about The Palm– you know, that little tree-shaped island jutting into the Gulf, visible from space, showered in the world's biggest fireworks, yadda yadda... well turns out a story was written about some of the island's design flaws, namely, emergency response times.
Think about it. There's only one way in and out of that place. And once an ambulance battles its way through traffic up the trunk of the tree, it's got another kilometre or so to go before getting to the end of those sandy fronds.

The point is, there's a good chance you'd end up dead/charred/robbed before any emergency crews could get to you, and rumour has it that firemen agree.
Just like that, I'm told, the story was killed. As far as I know, it never ran in the paper. Wouldn't want a story in our newspaper to scare off potential property owners wooed by the massive government-backed developer. Which makes sense, I guess, as long as press freedom isn't much of a priority. Afterall, those island villas are selling at well over a million bucks a pop.

Just remember to bring the first aid kid when heading to dinner party at the tip of the tree.